Be Yourself. No One Else Will Do It For You.
What is it?
The Oxford Dictionary describes it as the quality of being…you know what? Fuck it.
Authenticity is being who you are all the time. You want to swear? Go ahead. You like making people laugh? Keep the jokes coming. You want to sporadically go out and have sex with complete strangers? Well, I’m not going to stop you (I don’t necessarily agree with this one, but do whatever, and whoever, makes you happy).
We just rung in 2016 and if 2015 taught me anything, it was to really learn to be comfortable being who I am all the time and not give a rat’s ass if people liked it or not. Everyone has a particular niche where they fit, and I fit pretty snug in the political incorrectness group that speaks their mind. Does that make me a bad person? Not at all.
Being authentic is something that no one can take from you. It is your personal swagger and how you carry yourself with all that you meet (and already know) and more often than not, it can’t be duplicated. It is your undisputed genius of personality that YOU and ONLY YOU can create and you know what? It can work wonders for you.
A lot of the time people think that there is a certain way you should carry yourself at work and in your personal life, but what fun is that? Do you want to wake up every morning from Monday to Friday and put on your favourite mask to head to work and then come home, take it off and hang it in the closet? I sure as hell don’t, and I definitely never will do it again.
In mid-2015, I started working in the service industry at an upper scale restaurant and because of all the training and how elaborate that shit was, I literally thought that I had to be something I was not: incredibly “proper” and basically fake. It didn’t work for me. Not only did I make terrible amounts of tips, I also was being hounded by management about my service; the service that I wanted to provide but didn’t because I was following strict guidelines that I didn’t always believe in.
So what did I do? I said fuck it, and decided to be myself: make people laugh, remain unfiltered, and just perform the way I knew how. I keep to the guidelines at work, but they’re just that, rules…and rules are meant to be broken.
Here’s what I learned.
Stay true to yourself.
At the end of the day, you know who you are and if you don’t, it isn’t that hard to find yourself. Every single person on this planet wants to be a badass and it really isn’t that difficult. Look at your habits and your lifestyle and find out what makes you, YOU. If someone doesn’t like you, oh well. It’s really not a big deal. There will always be those who appreciate you, believe in you, and most importantly, accept you for being the fucking awesome person you already are. So burn that mask you wear every day because you don’t need it anymore.
Stop changing who you are in your personal and professional life.
The other night, a table I had told my manager I was “lovely” and I know entirely that it wasn’t strictly because of the service I provided but because I just said what came to mind (I can already hear Nibin’s voice telling me that I should look in the mirror to determine how lovely I really am, but forget what Nibin has to say right now J). All too often, I see people on Facebook who are constantly trying to build their personal brand. I got my hands up thinking “why the fuck are they trying to sell me something all the time?” Everyone’s resolution for 2016 should be to stop trying to sell people on who you are and just BE who you are. You’re a Human BEing, not a Human SELLing. Get it together, or I WILL tell your Mom.
Authenticity builds Trust.
When you’re you, you become much more likable. When you’re likable, people begin to trust you. When people trust you, they will do things for you because they believe in who you are. Here’s a fun fact: I didn’t score my wife pretending to be her friend. I am who I am and became her friend because I wanted to be more than that. She trusted me, so she said yes. Was I ever in the friend zone in this situation? Fuck no. Was I ever put in the friend zone before her? Yes, and it sucked. Going back to my theme here, I wasn’t A-U-T-H-E-N-T-I-C and that’s why I remained there as a teenager. As an adult, I decline to be anything less than myself and I’m not changing unless I want to. Be who you are and you’ll notice your influence begin to grow.
Why did I write this post?
A lot of people struggle finding out who they are and if they know who they are, they reject showing it to the world because they themselves are afraid the world will reject them. It’s sad really, but it’s the truth. In 2016, let go of the shackles that hold you down and just set yourself free from all the bureaucratic bullshit that everyone feeds you.
Alright, I’m done being sappy.
Head up, dress well, strong chin and posture and get after who you want to be. Life is short, just like (insert stupid joke here to make all of your friends laugh).
I’m sure you all know someone who needs to read this because everyone has those “fake” people in their life. The ones that act a certain way with you and then go complete 180 out in crowds (who are you again? I swear we were just friends before you went fucking Mr. Hyde out here). Make sure you share this with them so they can get it together, and if they don’t read it, make sure you send it to their Mom so she can slap some sense into their fake ass.
Until next time everyone, God bless.