You Win Facebook.
You’re way too kind for an American girl.
As you know, I’ve deactivated and reactivated my relationship with you so many times over the last 10 years. You weren’t aggressive, clingy or resentful towards me and I appreciate you for it. Each time you made it just a bit more difficult for me to press the deactivate button but always left it up to me in the end. Classy and a power move in hindsight, very cheeky.
The autonomy you gave me to roam freely and try out my options in my 20’s has really assured me on my commitment to stick with you for the long run. I want you to know this isn’t some BS 2016 new year’s resolution. I committed to holding and maintaining my relationship with you since this past August (2015). It was the direct outcome of a heated conversation with my best friend, Jiel Selmanovski.
The conversation ended with Jiel saying,
Jiel hangs up the phone and leaves me alone to reflect on my thoughts.
Up until this conversation I was very content with not rekindling my relationship with you. In fact, I was proud to tell my peers that I was over you.
I despised you because...
1. You are distracting as fuck.
The amount of time I spent roaming and refreshing that timeline to see what was new was disgusting. You took up so much of my free time and knew how to play with me. You got me hooked and so infatuated with your features. It’s really hard to forget your first time on a social media application; everyone always remembers their firsts.
2. You slowly made my peers (and me) less social.
I still prefer to pick up the phone and call or chat face to face vs. send a text or instant message. You can’t bullshit people when you can see and hear them. You allowed my peers and me at times to hide behind our screens vs. tackling an issue head on. Over the years the missed call and voicemail notifications converted to FB, Instagram and What’s App messaging notifications. As a result I no longer have a voicemail box, when I get a missed call it’s now likely followed up by an instant message on one of your platforms. Thanks for the read receipts at least.
3. You got me in trouble a few times.
I don’t want to talk about it.
Why I’m back.
1. Maturity, self-control and knowing myself better.
Made in 1989 and having an older sibling and many older cousins gave me the opportunity to see two ends of the social spectrum. On one end I know I don’t need you (technology) to connect with people and live a fun and fulfilled social life. Some of my most memorable nights out and traveling experiences have been without you or any technology for that matter (probably for the best). On the other end, technology applications like you have accelerated and scaled my social experiences in ways old school fun just can’t understand. Plus you carry the weight and conveniently store these memories for me in the cloud.
I’m no longer a teenager or in my early 20’s trying to find my way. I know that as long as I’m confident and able to connect with people in person at the end of the day you are only an awesome enhancement to my life. I can and have lived without you and can confidently turn you off without thinking about you. Since you make things more open, connected, fun and convenient I'm going to selfishly keep you at my fingertips. You're a cool toy I'm going to have fun with.
2. Long term investors care about their companies.
You have my money, therefore I care about your existence. Gone are my failed attempts of trying to make a quick buck in the markets, we're going to take this slow and look at the 10+ year horizon.
As an immaterial shareholder of your stock I always knew you were a badass chick. In my view it’s a very simple fact backed by data. 100% of my relevant friends, family and peers use your products in some form. Call it Facebook, Instagram, What’s App or access via any 3rd party application. You are doing something right, there is no denying it. There are a lot of startups trying to leap frog you but i'm betting you will survive and thrive.
I am really bullish on your long term existence and have invested some of my own money into you to show you that I’m not kidding. I’ll be watching closely to see how you will innovate and sustain this relationship and grow our love fund long term. No pressure.
You’re good looking, intelligent, know enough about me to put me in my place when I get out of hand and you always think long term, it's hard to find apps like you these days. I really like you so take my money and do what ever you need to with it.
3. You will be able to explain my life better than my tombstone.
I probably won’t have time to write an auto biography so I am banking on you to show my future kids, grandchildren, nieces and nephews who I was and what I was able to accomplish in my short time. I have accepted the next generation will not be flipping through physical albums like I did. My Facebook page will exist after I’m gone adding one more historical point of data for my family to access and reflect on whenever they so choose to.
Worse case you go out of business before I pass my tombstone will read “he tried.” Who knows though, by then we might have permanent weatherproof digital screens instead of tombstones that pull in and display my social media profiles.
Until my death or your unlikely chapter 11 filing do us apart, we’re in this relationship together long term.